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Love or Lust?

Started by Xaviera at 08-07-2007 2:30 PM. Topic has 9 replies.

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   08-07-2007, 2:30 PM
Xaviera is not online. Last active: 7/4/2008 3:23:27 AM Xaviera

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Is this guy good for me?

I started dating this one guy I'll call him John.  I dont know if I should be with him or not.

The reason its hard to leave him is that he is very very nice to me.  Very affectionate, always defends me etc.  However, I heard many bad things about him.  He has been to jail.  He has two restraining orders against him.  One for throwing a brick through his ex gf's car.  He said the reason was b/c it was snowing, and after they partied together she refused to give him a ride in her car back home and he had to walk back home and that pissed him off.  I asked him why someone would refuse to give him a ride home after partying with them, he said he didnt know.  The other restraining order I'm not sure why he got, he never mentions it but ppl in the bar scene in my city talk about the fact that it might have been for stalking a girl. 

Also, if I dont pick up the phone when he calls he freaks out.  We had a fight about this.  I told him to call me but I got busy b/c I was at a friends BBQ so i didnt pick up the phone.  He called me 4 times, and was upset, disappointed etc b/c i didnt pick up.  I called him after 9 that day when my minutes are free and he had a huge problem with this.

Another time, I went to a bar with a gf of mine.  she brought her bf along but i didnt bring John along b/c I wanted time to myself and I dont want John w/ me all the time.  he called me up and asked me who i was with.  i accidently forgot and said i was with my gf and her bf.  he flipped out saying he thought it was girls nite out and if she brought her man along i should have brought mine along and that basically he felt left out.  

Is this guy normal?    He treats me well tho.  He always says that if someone ever laid a hand on me he'd kill them.  I dont know if he can turn abusive. 


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   08-08-2007, 1:14 PM
Fabulash is not online. Last active: 1/25/2008 3:54:54 AM Fabulash



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Re: Is this guy good for me?
There are a lot of red flags here.  His past history is very concerning...he may be nice to you now, but he is already showing you some abusive aspects of his personality.  From what you were saying about the phone calls, he seems very controlling.  I have a feeling this is only going to get worse, and at that point it may be even more difficult to get out of the relationship. 
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   08-08-2007, 8:05 PM
label_whore313 is not online. Last active: 5/29/2008 11:10:25 PM label_whore313



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Re: Is this guy good for me?
Girl, RUN. Brick through a window??

You'd better break it off, while things are still young. Break it off NOW.
Its so much better to never lose it, than to lose it and get it back--you can always tell the difference. With that said, most people never get it back, so if you get it back after you lost it, thats better than losing it forever.
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   08-09-2007, 11:29 AM
sweet_lil-girly_girl is not online. Last active: 7/16/2007 5:37:18 PM sweet_lil-girly_girl

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Re: Is this guy good for me?

Not to make a joke out of a very serious situation but: Marky Mark Walberg treated Reese Witherspoon like gold in the movie "Fear" until she started trying to brake it off with him.

On a more serious note:  It's wonderful that he treats you well and sticks up for you and all of that, but he seems like he is being possessive of you when he gets angry about you not picking up the phone or if you don't always include him in your plans, etc.  The restraining order is pretty freaky, I would have major doubts about that.  People don't just take out restraining orders on other people unless they are really scared of being physically hurt by them.  Even if the girl who took the restraining order out is a crazy b*tch, multiple restraining orders and past jail record is a red flag.  What did he do time for?   You can do much better and you don't deserve to have to worry about these things when it comes to a guy that your dating.


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   08-29-2007, 10:50 PM
iluvnordies is not online. Last active: 10/7/2007 2:49:24 PM iluvnordies



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Re: Is this guy good for me?
get away!

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   08-29-2007, 11:09 PM
Dolce_Vita is not online. Last active: 5/12/2008 4:28:33 PM Dolce_Vita



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Re: Is this guy good for me?
I wouldn't stay with a guy if I heard all those things about him. Also, his constant need of being with you is a little freaky ...
* * * L I V E * * I N * * L O V E * * *
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   09-07-2007, 5:30 AM
label_whore313 is not online. Last active: 5/29/2008 11:10:25 PM label_whore313



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Surprise [:O] Re: Is this guy good for me?
Xaviera, are you still alive??  Pun intended.
Its so much better to never lose it, than to lose it and get it back--you can always tell the difference. With that said, most people never get it back, so if you get it back after you lost it, thats better than losing it forever.
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   09-10-2007, 3:19 PM
Xaviera is not online. Last active: 7/4/2008 3:23:27 AM Xaviera

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Re: Is this guy good for me?

Yes I am still alive.

 

Me and my bf got into a fight this Fri.  It was about  his need to be controlling and how he has a problem with me seeing my gfs b/c he thinks that when i'm out with my friends they will pollute my mind and turn me against him.  He knows he's got a bad rep in our town so he thinks that everyone will tell me bad stuff about him further distancing us when we party separately.  i got into a fight with him about this and his other crazy behaviour, and he apologized and he told me he'd be less psycho.  also he wont drink as much either b/c i dont like how he acts when he drinks.  So i got to see if he changes his behaviour or not.


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   09-11-2007, 2:29 PM
FashionFix is not online. Last active: 9/12/2007 12:17:57 AM FashionFix

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Re: Is this guy good for me?
I would say if you don't see any positive changes soon, don't waste your time.  He had a lot of red flags.... I say give most people the benefit of the doubt but you reach a point where enough is enough.. otherwise, it will just be a vicious circle.
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   09-12-2007, 1:24 PM
label_whore313 is not online. Last active: 5/29/2008 11:10:25 PM label_whore313



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Sad [:(] Re: Is this guy good for me?
Things arent improving.
Its so much better to never lose it, than to lose it and get it back--you can always tell the difference. With that said, most people never get it back, so if you get it back after you lost it, thats better than losing it forever.
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